What does Labor Look Like?

it all started with 10+ hours at home - contractions spent on the birth ball, in the tub and on the toilet (yes really)

So I've been taking a trip down memory lane as of late looking through old photos. DON'T ASK ME WHY I AM LOOKING THROUGH MY PHOTOS, IT'S CHRISTMAS OK? So anyway, I was looking through pictures and I found a file on Jerry's profile that I had completely forgotten about. My labor! Obviously, once Oscar was born, we skipped straight to baby pictures, but we. all. know. that I worked for that cute face, so lets have a looksee shall we? I spared you the pushing pictures. You can thank me later.

Jerry was amazing throughout

we made it to the hospital and Jerry and Christina (our Doula) are working my sore muscles

My sisters hopped in the car and drove 3 hours as soon as they got the call! And here I am hooked up to the monitors for a few minutes. These were on and off the whole time, but mostly off which was nice.

I LOVE this picture. My support. 

I still lean on you.

Well Oscar didn't come out the old fashioned way, but he sure made an entrance!

Proud parents, then and Now!

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Hello Scab.

Ever think you are over something and then one day there it is bleeding in your face? Yeah, me too. The other night, Oscar went to bed and Jerry and I decided to watch a movie. We've had Juno on deck for a couple weeks now from Netflix and just haven't gotten around to watching it. It was one of those movies that slipped through the cracks when it initially came out and we had been wanting to watch it for a while.

I was SO resonating with Jennifer Garner's character, Vanessa. Not the infertility part, thank God, but her desire to have a baby was so intense. And how she planned everything to the last detail. Aside from a few other plot details, that was SO me during pregnancy.

Then came the birth scene. Jerry and I always laugh during theatrical birth moments on TV and movies because they are so glaringly unrealistic. But this time, I thought they had it just right. And I. was. sobbing. Out of no where I was once again heartbroken about the fact that I was not able to deliver Oscar the old fashioned way. Saddened by the loss of our "moment" and not getting to hold him right away. It really took me (and Jerry) by surprise.

It's one of those things that you just can't explain. Why certain things happen to certain people. I was prepared for natural labor (as much as any woman can be). I wanted those moments. I tried for 25 hours before it was just too much. Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. Wondering if I had used a midwife or had a home birth it would have been different. Sometimes I wonder that too, but I remain convinced that I did everything I could to avoid it. And I secretly want to become a defender of women who had a c-section. I found out when I was pregnant that my father was born via c-section in the 1940s. Talk about scary! For most of us, it is NEVER the first choice. And even though all is well and I am thankful for a happy and healthy baby, I am learning that it will always be a sad moment in an otherwise blissful time.

I hope to try for a VBAC with the next baby provided I can find a Dr. and hospital that is willing to do it. And I know that if I have another c-section, I will love the baby just as much as I would if I had birthed naturally. It's interesting how things affect you when babies are involved. It's like my body is saying, surprise! Here's the secret emotion box that has been closed until now. And once it's open, it can never be closed.

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....

You might get to find out his name today.

We'll keep you posted!

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Baby wants out.......right??

So I had my weekly Dr. appointment today and have made some progress. I think it will still be a while, but if I make it to next Friday, I'll be having an ultrasound to check things out and make sure all is well. Then I can go a week over my due date before the big talk with the Dr. So, here's hoping I don't get that far!

However, based on how I feel I think we are in it for the long haul. He seems quite comfy where he is despite my efforts to "walk it out". I just want him to come when he is ready! But I hope he is ready sooner than later :-) Here we are naked belly and all at 39 weeks today!


Note that my "linea nigra" is crooked above and below my belly button! God does have a sense of humor to stick someone with my OCD capabilities with something like that :-) Anyone else tired of belly pics?? I know I am! I am ready for baby pics!!! Come on Mr. Tumnus! We're ready for you :-)

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Let the waiting commence.....

Well today is the first day of no work! Technically I am on vacation until my benefits kick in, which will be anywhere between now and 3 weeks from now, depending on when Mr. Tumnus decides to show up. Last week there were a couple days when I felt like it was going to be really soon. And then I had 5 straight days of nothing as if he has decided he is just fine where he is, thankyouverymuch.

Sleep just torments me. I know I am falling asleep because I am having little dreams here and there, but I feel conscious the whole night. And sore. I think at this point, I am a little nervous that I will be so exhausted from lack of sleep that I don't want him to come yet. But I know that I will be so happy when the time comes.

Today, Jerry is off as well so we have been doing a little bit of cleaning. We are caught up on laundry and we just cleaned the refrigerator. It's pretty much empty so we thought it would be a good time. He is going with me to get groceries later on so he can do all the lifting. I am hoping the walking around will do some good. And since it looks like we might get some snow, we might as well stand in line with all the other MILK AND BREAD seekers.

This week should be fun though. I have a few friend dates lined up, a Dr. appointment tomorrow and a shopping trip on Friday. Nothing too strenuous but it will be nice to go at a slower pace. Saturday, Jenny, Jessica and I had pedicures! It was wonderful. I have been waiting til this month to get one and it's almost silly how much better I feel! So all in all I am looking forward to this week. I feel ready for the baby, but also thankful to have a little time to transition to the next BIG thing. Have a great day!

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Our Baby Shower!

Last Saturday my good friends Jessica and Kim threw us an awesome baby shower! We decided to go with a coed shower because Jerry wanted to be a part of it and we have so many friends with small children, we wanted to include everyone. It was so much fun! We had such a great time and it was really humbling to realize what an amazing support system we have. We did the usual food and gifts and games, but one of the games was particularly fun because it was for the boys! Since we plan to use cloth diapers Jessica brought some supplies and the guys had to race to get the dipe on the fastest and correctly! And I am proud to say that Jerry won! He ended up in a face-off with Joe, who is an old pro and managed to eek out a win with only a mild amount of cheating :-)

We also wanted the kids to be included so mom and dad could both come and hang out. There were so MANY kids! It was awesome to see all the built-in friends that Baby U will have :-). Thanks everyone for making it such a special time for us! We are truly blessed!

Thanks Jessica for everything! Yummy delicious punch and cake included!!!

Jenny and everyone's baby Jude! Ok technically he belongs to Jessica....

The guys stuck pretty close to the beer and food...who can blame them?

Full House!

I came close to winning the "guess the cartoon character game' but Joe beat me to it....shoulda known!

Jerry and his cloth diapering skilzzz

Matt gave it the old college try!

Gifts! We got so many adorable and useful things! You guys are rockstars!

Handmade Whale pillow by Steph

Good friends and good times!

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Chirp Chirp....

I had a wonderful fit of nesting last night and finished the nursery! Hooray! Don't worry, my baby shower post is still to come, but I wanted to get these up here because now I can confidently and happily say it's done! I think Baby U will like his new home :-)

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Droppin it like it's hot....

Based on how I FEEL I think the baby is burrowing lower and lower into the birth canal. SO I thought it would be fun to get picture verification. I think I am lower....do you?

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Ahhhh....

I am off caffeine completely at the moment, but my new coffee cup was BEGGING to be used so I just poured a cuppa decaf. And it is good.


I have so much to blog about! We had our amazing baby shower this weekend and since then we have been SO busy with church, work, Dr. (and dentist) appointments and of course community group! I want to do a beefy post with lots of pics so hang in there :-)

Speaking of hanging in there, today I have another OB appt and I will hopefully get the all clear in regard to any potential issues that may try to creep up at this late hour. Other than that, I just have 3 more days of working from home and then I am free to simply wait on Mr. Tumnus to make his grand entrance! If he is anything like his parents, we'll be waiting a while.

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BP Shmee Pee

Well this week got interesting! Wednesday I had a Dr.'s appointment and all is well with me and the baby, with a minor snag, I had a high blood pressure reading. Our Dr. is very thorough and decided to have me monitor it at home for the next week, which I am now doing. Well, the past 2 days have been incredibly busy and I have been running around a lot more than usual so yesterday when I took my BP I got some more high numbers so I called it in (as requested). Well, as it turns out, that gets you one free pass to a visit at labor and delivery! High blood pressure can be very serious in pregnancy when combined with other things (that they are checking but don't have results back on yet) so needless to say, I was a bit freaked out. And definitely going to L&D was not at ALL what we had in mind when we called, but we obliged. And I am actually really glad we did!

We got there and I had to be hooked up to the BP cuff for an hour so it could take a reading every 15 minutes or so or about 4 times. My BP was completely normal every time! We even took it again with my cuff and it had gone down on it as well so I was really relieved. I also got to hear little man's heartbeat which completely soothes me every time. I'll still be monitoring for the next few days but I feel so much calmer today and a bit back to normal.

I was talking to my dad last night telling him that I kinda felt silly going to the hospital to check my blood pressure and he responded with a very true statement, "you're a mommy now, it's not about you anymore!" It's a good feeling. And if nothing else, we finally took that hospital tour we had been putting off!

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Belly update!

Well here is the transition over the past month or so...just a few more weeks!

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Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS. IS. IT.

The final week of work at my office. And I could not be more excited! Next to having a baby next month, this might just be one of the happiest moments of my life! Goodbye Monday morning, hello dream come true!

To be fair, I will still be working for a couple weeks from home, but I think we all know how different that is. And come April when I am slated to return, we'll revisit. But for now, I am SO very happy that I just have a mere 72 hours standing between me and no 20 minute morning commute.

Of course all of this brings us one step closer to welcoming our baby boy into the world and that is what we are truly thankful for. But man it's close! I am entering my 9th month and it won't be long now. Jerry and I had a really nice and relaxing Christmas. It didn't help that I was sick and miserable for half of it, but it was so nice to be sick and miserable at my own house. Jerry took excellent care of me and the past couple days have been really fun. We worked a little bit in the nursery, played cards, went to church and just really really relaxed. We realized somewhere in there that this will be the last Christmas like THAT for quite some time! In fact, it might be the last really relaxing weekend we have before the baby comes so we cherished it.

I feel like we are SO on the same page. It is such an amazing blessing. I never knew someone could GET me so well. I am truly excited to become a parent with Jerry for the first time and am completely secure in the fact that we are in this together. Being supportive is just about the best present anyone can give someone they love, and I am truly rich.

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Almost 34 weeks!

Well I have so many countdowns going I just don't know where to start. In around 6 weeks we will have our baby boy! I am so excited and ready to get this show on the road that each day is DRAGGING. But then magically, a week has gone by. It's strange how it goes like that.

This is my last full week in the office. Hooray! Next week and the week after are short because of the holidays and on Jan 2nd I work from home! All totaled up I just have 19 days of work left. PERIOD! This is almost as exciting as the baby...jk. But maybe a little.

Right now he is kicking and hiccuping and just all around jammed in my belly and I am guessing since he is probably already 3 feet tall, pretty uncomfortable. But it won't be long now, right? RIGHT? In baby land I guess you could say the next big thing is in 2 weeks when we switch to weekly appointments at the Dr. Friday I go for a normal update and then in January we'll have one final ultrasound to determine his position (and size but I am not so concerned with that, he'll be just the right size). I'll also have my first internal exam. So, lots going on! I have been switching gears to parenting and actually HAVING the baby so the whole birth thing just kinda feels in the way right now haha. I am looking forward to it and my biggest prayer is that everything just happens spontaneously and maybe a bit early. That wouldn't be so bad ;-)

Next week is Christmas and this year it has been so odd. My family came up at Thanksgiving and Jerry's family was here last weekend, so this year it will just be us and the dog at home! My folks will be coming over for Christmas Dinner and I am looking forward to that, but being home with no company for the most part is so strange! I am really looking forward to it though and I think it will be really special for us to have that time before the baby gets here. I've made some jokes about how there are no Christmas plays for me to portray Mary in this year. Not that I actually would, but I guess it's neat to think about her being about where I am and wondering when "it" would happen. I know I know the timing isn't technically the same, but it's still neat to think about. Like, did Jesus get the hiccups? How was her birth? Was she upright? Did Joseph cut the cord? All of these things aside from the obvious awe of the most sacred event in History. It's crazy to BE pregnant and think about these things. I hope I can remember some of these thoughts to help me through labor.

So much goes through my head now that never did before. I am sure that will only increase with each stage of his life. As for me physically, I am still feeling pretty exhausted. I have been taking naps again. Not every day, but more often than in weeks past. I am also achy and starting to waddle. But these things just tell me I am in the home stretch. I can do this! I am just glad I can retire my work clothes soon and spend the last couple weeks in my bathrobe ;-)

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Help meeee!

I guess being married for over a year and about to have a baby I can't really be considered a newlywed can I? (Though for the sake of the romantics out there we'll ALWAYS be newlyweds...like those little old people at the bus stop holding hands)

So I need to come up with a new Title for the blog. I like The Mrs. but it needs a tag line...I probably should have changed it to something pregnancy-related months ago, but hey I was distracted! So I'll probably work on it and then change it once Mr. Tumnus makes his grand arrival.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Being pregnant is fun! (?)

The past week I have really begun to understand the meaning of the phrase "the dreaded third trimester". Sleep is elusive, RLS has become a real condition and not just a commercial to make fun of, and my mood swings are back with a vengeance. The holidays are as hectic as ever. But you know it's bad when you wait so long to get groceries that your husband says, "I know what we can have for lunch! We have tater tots and eggs...I'll make hash browns!"

And then we eat it. And it tastes good.

I say all of this not to complain, but to document that this pregnancy hasn't been ALL fun and games, though I know I have had it pretty easy compared to most. And when you have a supportive husband it makes all the difference. Take this conversation from the other night:

Me: My back hurts, I always have to go to the bathroom, I cut my finger, I am bumping into things, I am tired and I can't sleep, I have too much to do and I have a headache and a sore neck.

Jerry: Well, is there anything that DOESN'T hurt??

Me: umm......well, my teeth feel pretty good.

Jerry: Alright!! No toothaches! That's great baby!!

Somehow it worked and brought me back from the depths of despair. I don't know how this happens but I hope he retains this power long enough to get me through labor and delivery. Speaking of which, I hear that laughter is the best medicine and actually helps you stay relaxed and cope. We decided yes, laughter, that is what we need. But what will be funny to me with a watermelon trying to escape the prison of my uterus? This remains to be seen. If it were today, there would be a combination of Will Ferrell movies, bathroom humor and self-deprecation going on, but seeing as how we will have a doula and my mother in the room, I don't know that we can joke the same way we usually do....hmmm...This is where my husband says, oh that's when we'll just tell everyone we want to pray and they'll scatter. Interesting AND innovative. This is why I love him.

In other words, we have no idea. And we really won't until we get there. I think I have reached my limit on preparation. Like my friend Jessica said, the last few weeks are just about getting by. And I am doing just that. It helps that there are fun things to do and see and the holidays are here. I am trying to enjoy the peace and quiet moments that I do have knowing they won't last much longer. It's a process that really does take 9 months. I have loved being pregnant and wondered if I would ever get to the point of GET THIS BABY OUT. And until the past week, I didn't think I would. But as things are getting harder and I am moving slower I can see that 7 more weeks like this will take it's toll. And I'll be ready.

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Made in Taiwan....

Now THIS is a hospital where it would be awesome to give birth :-)

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We are sooooo ready :-)

***photo by Angie Schuster

Little baby U is just baking away in my big round belly and we are getting even more excited to meet him! My family was here for Thanksgiving and we had a really great time hanging out and being all together with all the kids. It's crazy to think that next year we will have an almost 1 year old scooting around!

I am not miserable. And for that I am eternally thankful! I have loved the experience of being pregnant and try to be as in the moment as I possibly can without jumping ahead too much. It's easier said than done! As of today I have only 18 more work days in the office. The countdown is ON! We'll have Jerry's family in town next week also so it's just going to be fun fun fun all around!

We also can't wait to tell everyone his name! That has been the hardest part for me honestly, keeping it a secret. But it's fun and we love the name and I think you will too! It's funny, his due date no longer looms off in the distance...I have a Dr. appt today and chances are I will have only 1 or 2 more this month and 3 or 4 in January! He is definitely getting bigger and much more active in there. I feel movement almost all day long. And when I roll over in bed he rolls around stretches and kicks before settling back in. It's amazing to me that I feel like I already know his habits and some things he likes and doesn't like. It will be really interesting to see how he acts on the 'outside'.

We were talking in Community group last night about how thankful we are to be in this place. And how Jerry and I both could have never seen this awesome life coming from a few years ago. We are truly blessed!

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31 weeks down...9 to go!

It's hard to imagine getting a lot bigger than this...but I am sure it will happen in 9 weeks! That's a long time for a little baby to grow :-)

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Let the eating commence!

Last night was the official start of Thanksgiving week! We had community group at our house and stuffed it full of 17 adults, 2 kids and a Krusty dog! We had a great time eating and talking and laughing. We set up tables throughout the house so we could actually eat like civilized people instead of on our laps like usual :-) It was so fun to hang out with so many good friends and enjoy the blessings we have been given. We forgot to go around the room and say what we were thankful for as planned, but I think being together it was clear that we are all very thankful for each other! I have pics but they aren't uploaded yet, so I will revise this later :-)

Today Jerry has a potluck at work (we had ours last week) and then my family gets here tomorrow night! Just one more day and we are off for a nice long weekend! I can't wait.

In other news, we are having a baby in just 9.5 weeks! That is insane! I am so glad that the holidays will be a big distraction because we are getting so excited to meet this little man! It's really hard to believe it's almost December and I only have 21 more days in the office. Then I work from home! Not driving 20-30 minutes twice a day is going to be such a relief for me. Especially as I get bigger and bigger. Next week our doula is coming over to go through some details and learn how to get to our place in the event that she has to find her way there at 4am when I go into labor :-) We are also going to check out a Pediatrician next Wednesday that came highly recommended. Talk about unknown territory! All good things though and yes, we are so thankful for this. We have thankfulness coming out of our ears! It is a good good time.

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Motivation....I never knew you....

This is the "busy season" at my job, which in some ways is good because it makes the days go by faster. However, in other ways I feel totally lost. I have notes everywhere and things are starting to pile up on my desk that I need to put away (much like our house) and I just feel motionless. Yesterday I had a meeting at a client group and I went to the wrong location. Thankfully, the right location was only a few minutes away, but I definitely feel like this little baby is already stealing my brain. I write everything down and now I am learning that I have been writing things on the back page of other things which can be a setup for disaster. Thankfully, nothing has happened (yet) but man I will be glad to get my focus completely off this job and onto our new life!

And as for the job, I will say that I am really thankful that they have been so kind throughout the pregnancy (spare a couple of crazies). It always seems to happen that way, you are about to make some changes and then everyone is your best friend. Go figure. But we'll see what happens after Mr. Tumnus arrives. I am not slamming any doors shut just yet.

I also just realized that of my friends, I am the next one to have a baby! We had a few folks who were due this month and have all had their babies! So I am next up! Congrats to Mike and Amy, Colin and Holly, and Jared and Chelsea! I am really thankful to be in a great group of new moms. I can't say it enough. I know how important community is and honestly, I don't know how I would do it without you ladies!

As far as the house is concerned, there are a few more things that I would really like to be done before the big show. The nursery is almost done and I think we are getting our crib mattress today (yippee)! I would like to make sure the guest room/office is organized. It seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back in that room. Jerry needs a space and that is where it will be, but I know he will be much happier when we have a place for all his "things" (music stuff, computer stuff, etc) So that is a priority. We also need to do something about our laundry drain. Every 6 months or so it backs up and starts to overflow just a little, but enough to to damage to the walls at least. So we get it snaked, but after doing that twice already, we aren't really up for another giant plumbing bill. This time we are going to start with Drano and see what happens. We can still use the machine as is, we just have to stand there and stop/start it if it starts to empty faster than the drain.

Otherwise, there is just a massive cleaning that the whole house needs. I am not quite there yet, but when that nesting instinct hits I already have a list going of what I will scrub first. Up to now all the nesting has been in the form of fun stuff and all the nitty gritty just sits there and laughs in my face. So you see, I think of lots of things to do, but when the time comes I just can't seem to get it done. I hope that instinct kicks in soon! And that's my rambling for today :-)

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