The Perfect Day

Today was a perfect day. I don't know that I have been able to say that about any day in the past several months. But today? Today was absolutely perfect. It was the day I had a million times in my dreams of what having a family would be like as a little girl. It was the day that my spirit ached for all those lonely years of waiting for Jerry to come along. It was that good.

This morning I woke up before anyone else. I yawned, I stretched and seeing that it was light out I knew it was day. Yet, no one was making any noise. Each day this week I woke up thinking it was Monday. So I had to do a mental check to remember it was indeed Saturday. I lay there quietly for a few minutes and finally decided to check the time. It was 9:04am! NINE OH FOUR. That is like 1pm in parent time! I mean that right there would have made my day. It definitely made my morning! I got up and got my contacts in and started coffee, tasks that are usually done with a hungry and impatient toddler in tow. But not today. Today I took my time.

Oscar woke up a few minutes later and we started our morning routine. He nursed for a bit and quickly ran to the kitchen to EAT EAT EAT, his mealtime mantra. We did animal sounds and ate cheerios. He laughed and I giggled. Jerry came out and started music. We enjoyed each other.

We'd heard of a local yard sale at a church downtown so we piled in the van (Krusty dog too) and headed over to see what we could find. I filled a bag with books and toys and a few sets of PJs for Oscar for $5 total. Then it was time to play at the park. It was a warm and sunny day but so refreshing and breezy in the shade. Oscar played with his newly thrifted golf clubs and dug in the sand.We talked, we smiled. We had family time.

Lunch was more of the same and Oscar went right down for his nap. He slept a glorious 3 hours while we had some downtime of our own. When he woke up we decided to go downtown for dinner at Tir Na Nog. It's an Irish Pub and Oscar has never been so I was interested to see how he would do. We had the best time just hanging out. There was a small wedding reception in the back room and it reminded us of our own wedding rehearsal dinner we'd had in the same space. Our lives are here. Our life together is throughout these streets and parks and restaurants. It's a beautiful thing! What we didn't know was that it was Kilt Night and Pipers came through toward the end of our meal! There were two bagpipers and a drummer. Oscar LOVED watching them play and burst into applause at the end of each song. It was adorable.

After dinner I went to a baby celebration for a friend who is having her second child in a few weeks. I spent two hours laughing, talking and commiserating with some of the most beautiful and hilarious people in the world. I know tomorrow is Mother's Day. But honestly, today was my gift. Jerry has been asking me all week what I wanted for Mother's Day and all I could think to say was I just want a day where I feel special and cared for all day long. And today I got it. Without even trying. I don't deserve this life, but I am so thankful for it!

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A visit with the Fam

Sunday was a HOT day. I am not sure what the actual high was, but it was supposed to be somewhere in the 90s. I am sure it was. We had a great morning at church and then went to a LONG overdue lunch with my family. Even though my folks live only 30 minutes away, they are on the go and it's hard to get our schedules matched up. They have been in New England for the past 5 weeks so it was definitely time for Oscar to see his Grampa, Grammy, and Aunt Amy!

We went to lunch and decided, sure it's the hottest day of the year. Let's sit outside! I kid. It was actually quite pleasant when the wind was blowing. Oscar has my trait of turning pink when he gets warm so he is a lovely shade of sweaty in these pics. But we had a great time! He tried a lemon and loved it. He ate his chicken and dipped his hands in ranch AND honey mustard. Both recieiving the requisite, mmmMMMmmm. And he does the funniest thing now. Every time he is asked, Oscar do you want some chicken? He says, BOOCK bock BOOOOOOCK! I feel for the poor kid who doesn't quite get that he is eating an animal. Oscar seems to have no problem with it.  

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Becoming Mom: What I love about Staying at Home

I bent over to unload the dryer after starting the dishwasher, loading/starting the washing machine and carting our dirty clothes out to the kitchen, again. I started to think, man I can't believe it's time to do this again already. And immediately heard a friend's voice echo in my mind, you won't believe how much laundry you do when you have kids....and as I watched my virtual self start to take the path of complaint I decided to back that train up and remind myself of just how much I love this job. And why.

And because I love lists, I decided to write it down. So here is my incomplete list of why I love being a Stay at home Mom (in no particular order)

• The Schedule is MINE to make - sure sometimes there are appointments, but even I scheduled those. I am the only one to blame for poor scheduling, which means, I don't get mad as often.
• I love watching my son grow (and grow and grow) - This one is a luxury that I don't take for granted. I feel so blessed that I get to enjoy these moments and I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. 
• We get to enjoy our City. I can't tell you how many times I would drive by places and see people out in the middle of the day and just dream of what it might be like to do your grocery shopping during daylight. Now I know what it's like. And I likes what I knows.
• Maybe today I don't want to wear pants? No further explanation necessary.
• Knowing what we will have for dinner before 6pm. - This part takes some planning, but is SO worth it!
• Sitting on the back steps drinking my morning coffee. MMM
• Taking care of my family! I DO treat it like a job, simply because it is my calling. There is no higher purpose for me than to be the best wife and mama I can be. Others will surely do it better. But this family is all mine and I love em.

It can be all too easy to stare down at that dirty floor/laundry/dishes and get on the complain train. Today, we're skipping it. How about you?

***image via flickr commons

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Separation Anxiety: An Update

So Oscar has been doing a little better with the whole separation anxiety thing. I've been hanging on to 15 months because I hear that is the magic number for a lot of babies to grow out of it. Oscar will be 15 months on Monday (!!!) and it seems like each time we leave him he does better and better!

This week we decided to keep him up a little late on Monday night so we could all attend our community group together. Jerry and I had been taking turns staying home with Oscar and that worked for a while, but we missed being able to engage in the discussions together. So we decided to see what would happen. Oscar did great! He played with Jude and even went upstairs to play in a completely separate room from us with another parent. Honestly, I never thought he would go for it, but up he went and we had a great discussion! Score one for Community Group!

But if I am honest, I couldn't get TOO excited about that because we were with people we know and love. Oscar is definitely more anxious around strangers so I knew the true test would be the YMCA. The past few times I have taken him he has been BESIDE HIMSELF with anguish, so we kinda backed off for a while. But this week, I wanted to try Zumba and Jessica was going to bring Jude so I knew he would at least have a familiar face in the nursery. He still cried when I dropped him off but apparently stopped soon after because he was totally happy to see me when I picked him up and they said he did great! YAAAAAY!! This is so so SO huge for me. I really want him to enjoy his time there and the interaction with the other kids while I can get a workout in. Less guilt = better workout.

Other than Jude, there is one more common denominator in the success of these two trips. And that is the fact that I allowed him to bring blanket and paci. Normally, these are nap/bedtime only props but I decided to see what would happen if I let them come along. I think it really helped him feel grounded when I wasn't with him! I wish i had a smaller blanket because his drags everywhere, and let's face it, I should probably phase out the paci sooner than later. BUT these things are working and this is one area where I couldn't care less what the experts say! Blanket and paci for the win!

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Becoming Mom: On Discipline

Why do I feel like the "terrible twos" are here about 10 months too early? All of a sudden I have a very independent, opinionated and yes even sometimes defiant little boy on my hands. I am not quite sure where to turn at this point. I've darkened the doors of the library yet again to load up on parenting books, but haven't found the time to really read them. Or the interest for that matter.

I think what I really need isn't someone telling me what to do. It's guts. I need the guts to find out what kind of discipline Oscar needs and how to give it. I need the guts to follow through and stay consistent. I need the guts to keep reminding myself that sometimes the good guy has to look like the bad guy.

I know that children need discipline in their lives. They crave authority as long as it's provided with a heavy dose of love. I never in a million years could have understood how hard it would be to look my crying son in the eyes and deny him what he wants. Even if what he wants more than anything is to touch a hot oven. It is HARD. And I am the bad guy.

And I need to be ok with that.

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Oscar's First Zoo Trip!

We went to the Riverbanks Zoo while we were in SC visiting my sister and oh my goodness did we have a good time! Oscar didn't really know what he was in for but our very first stop was the Bear exhibit. He had the biggest smile on his face and kept saying BEAR BEAR! Every time he saw an animal for which he knew its sound, he would make the sound over and over. It was so cute!

 He LOVED the monkeys (all of them) and I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw the Lions. He instantly started going RAWR!!! RAWRRR! with a huge grin. We watched the fish for a good while trying to get a nice picture, but it was way too dark for my little camera. Other hits included the giraffes, the giant tortoise and the lizard Kai found on a statue. What a great trip!

Having fun with family! Aunt Angie and cousins here

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Golly I love this boy....

I am working on the Zoo pics and this one was just mixed in with the rest. And I just love it. All of it. I let Oscar have his snack at the big boy table last week and now almost every afternoon he walks over to his chair and asks sit DOWN?? You know, so he can eat his puffs like a man.

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Saturday in Pictures

This one is for Dada! We are having fun but sure can't wait to see you

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Zoo Preview

To say Oscar loved the Zoo, would be an understatement. Here is just one of many fun pics. More to come!

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Traveling ...

We are currently visiting with family in South Carolina and it has been so much fun to watch Oscar interact with his cousins! He did great on the drive down but had so much fun that he only slept 45 minutes and that was his only nap of the day! He played Peek-A-Boo with Aly in the back seat for at least 15 minutes straight. Thanks Aly! Bedtime last night was a little rough due to being in a new place AND a pack-n-play, which is never his favorite, but we managed. Today we are just laying low and tomorrow we'll visit the Zoo! It will be Oscar's first time at the Zoo and I can't wait to see his reactions. Pictures to follow.

Also, if someone could ask the Pollen to stop ruining my life, that would be great. I think breathing would really make this vacation more fun :-) just sayin.

Looking forward to lots of fun stories from our trip! Hope everyone has a fun week!

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Did You know it's National C-Section Awareness Month?

Like approximately 1/3 of Mothers in the US today, I was introduced to my son upside down. And that one moment has caused the floodgates of emotion to well up in me many times (for many reasons) over the past 14 months. I want to talk about it though. Because while there are unfortunately many women who were not properly educated about the risks of c-section and might have been pressured to have one unnecessarily, there are the rest of us. Those who wanted natural childbirth and DID what we thought was necessary to make that happen, yet had a medically necessary C-section. Those who carry guilt and even shame in admitting to not having natural childbirth. Feeling the need to explain, yes I WAS educated and did everything "right" but I still needed a C-Section. And still feeling that people don't believe you. And since this is National Cesarean Awareness Month, I thought now would be a good time to have that conversation.

I do think a lot of my personal issue is internal pressure as I have admitted before. And many women are perfectly at peace with getting a c-section. So this post is not to condemn anyone for their feelings. But I would be remiss to say that it hasn't been really hard for me and I don't know, I think there are more women out there like me.  There is a post over at Momotics about the negative responses to C-Sections that struck a chord with me yesterday. (She will be doing one with positive responses soon, so bookmark it to get the other side of the story!) But as I was reading,  I was reminded of what a truly complex issue this is. And just like every natural/vaginal birth, every c-section is different. We can no more categorize these women than we can those who were able to birth naturally.

All of this is fresh in my mind because I am currently looking for a new Dr. We are hoping to have a second child in the relatively near future and I would like to find someone supportive of VBAC locally. I have been looking online for information and unearthed a lot of old feelings.

It's been a really interesting mental process for me. Whereas when I was pregnant/planning for birth with Oscar, I really didn't have many fears. I felt prepared and capable of letting my body do its thing. But now, after laboring for so long and knowing I had to relent to the unthinkable, I wonder if those experiences will tarnish my "2nd chance" provided I get one. One thing I know for sure is that birth is a powerful thing. The experience itself is far more powerful and lasting than I ever realized. I hope that every woman gets the birth she wants. But I also know that isn't realistic. In that case, I hope women who feel slighted would find hope and comfort in the fact that they are not alone. Their choices matter. Their voices are heard and they are not to blame. Sometimes we get the crap hand. But in the end our babies are beautiful.

Even upside down.

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Happy Easter!

I hope you all have a blessed day! And a little chocolate never hurts ;-)

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Morning Dance Party!

Welcome to our newest morning tradition :-)

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It's the little things....

Like most parents, Jerry and I try not to give Oscar too much medicine unless we feel it is absolutely necessary. And like most parents, we have been lost a time or two due to massive teething pain for little Oscar. So we turn to teething tablets. They are a natural alternative and we like that. You can't just dump a whole bottle in the kid's mouth or anything, but when used appropriately, they are a livesaver! Oscar loves them too and requests them at bedtime. Jerry took this video the other night while I was at the gym.

I mean really, who can resist his version of "tablets"?

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Welcome Spring

How we've missed you!

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Playroom Update

I love having a  playroom. Especially a family playroom! You might think having a computer, toys, AND music equipment all in one room would be a challenge. I call it cozy. And it's not bad! As long as the toys win.In this room anyway, I don't mind. I love having lots of floor space for Oscar. And as he gets older, we see what works and what doesn't. 

This was the original playroom and since then, some things have changed! Oscar has outgrown the exersaucer (sniffle) and we were given an awesome little tikes desk! We also inherited a few more toys from the older cousins and I got a little bookshelf so Oscar can see what his options are.

The book organizer is the most recent addition and I love it! I got this one from Target and at my store it was 50% off! Definitely a good deal if you are in the market. It's smaller than I imagined but perfect for Oscar. Our little playroom is really coming together!

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A Visit With Grandad...

Jerry's Dad came down a couple weeks ago for a visit and to see his youngest grandson. It was a nice chance to take some time off and enjoy it with family! The weather was just starting to turn nice and we had one of our first really beautifully sunny days of the year. Oscar had a good time with his Aunts and Grandparents, and we had a good time catching up. It was great to see them and we look forward to doing it again soon.  We have such a great family!

Three generations of Pranksters

Learning how to be silly...it's not hard!

Mom legggooooo

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This is why I love boys. And Saturdays.

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Let The Sun Shine

This morning Oscar was watching his favorite dogs and cats DVD. After finding his blanket and paci, he sat right in the middle of the big ray of sunlight that was beaming in through the kitchen window. I decided to snap a picture which he immediately noticed and therefore started hamming for the camera. The fun ended with a rousing game of peekaboo, of course.

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Daddy's Home = The Best Part of Our Day

Every day.

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