I wonder how many lies start like this....

Sure I could say, yeah I took Oscar and Krusty for a walk at the lake. It was a beautiful day, and leave it at that. I mean it IS true. But what am I really saying? Look at me and how together I am! We went to the lake for a walk, in the beautiful sunshine! I listened to my ipod, Krusty got in the water, Oscar looked at the leaves! All true. But what I left out is the much better story. The real story.

You see, it took about an entire hour to get everything pulled together to leave the house in the first place. Oscar needed to nurse and have a diaper change. He needed a new outfit because he spit up all over the first one. I needed to get dressed and into my running shoes (a feat in itself these days - anything with laces take 3 times as long). I had to get Krusty's leash and poop-bags together and into the stroller. The stroller was in the house which meant it had to be taken outside, folded up and put into the car. I wanted to load up my ipod with some new music I had just downloaded. However, itunes refused to see the ipod on my computer and I fought with it for Oscar's entire nap only to end up with 4 songs added twice and a 5th song once. Not nearly the entire playlist.I powered on however, determined to enjoy the day and the weather and get the boys outdoors and some much needed exercise. It will be fine once we get there. Just get there.

When we FINALLY left the house I realized that I was beyond out of gas and needed to stop at the first possible gas station. I also forgot to bring water for all of us so I would pick that up as well. Drove up to the pump and didn't realize it had one of those 'out of order' bags draped over it and due to the weirdness of this particular gas station, I had to drive all the way around the pumps to get to a working one. Got the gas and drove to the window for my water (drive through convenience store, yay!). The cashier dropped my card as she was handing it back to me and of course it went all the way under the car. Ok, reverse, park, get out, retrieve card, back in and on our way. And she gave us 2 dog treats! Score! Things are looking up.

We get to the park and take approximately 18 minutes to get everyone unloaded and reloaded (or leashed) and finally FINALLY, headphones on (well in one ear anyway) we are off! Except that we take 4 steps and Krusty has to stop and pee. No problem, we just got out of the car. Two more steps, stop-pee. We repeat this every 2 steps for the next 500 on the way to the path. It takes approximately 3 hours and 12 minutes. And Krusty has lost about 12lbs of fluid. We FINALLY get to the bridge where thank God there is nothing green to sniff/pee on and start walking over the lake. About halfway over the bridge I realized that Krust has realllly slowed down. I look back and he is crouched down SO low that I was convinced he had a cramp and/or one of his legs fell off.

As it turned out, he was terrified of the bridge! He kept looking over the edge as if he just knew it was all over for him. He even backed out of his leash somehow for a moment and just stood frozen. It was mostly sad, but a little cute I must say. Once we made it to the other side our "walk" resumed the aforementioned pattern of take 2 steps, pee, 2 steps, pee, repeat. Only now that there are woods on either side, Krusty invoked a lovely zig-zag that either 1) got him tangled up with the stroller or 2) pulled us all off the path. #2 happened more than #1 and as I would try to pull him back I would stray too far from the ipod, causing the earplug to come FLYING out of my ear OR come unattached from the ipod itself. Add in a mix of other walkers, joggers and dogs and you have yourself a recipe for disaster.

Please allow yourself to imagine me with a stroller, leash and ipod all going in different directions as I try to get some "exercise". It was as ridiculous as it sounds. And then we took what I thought was the shorter loop and it turned out to be a dead end! OH the anger. I am pretty sure I burned more calories being annoyed than I actually did walking. So instead of a brisk walk around the lake, we made it about 1/4 of the way, got lost and had to backtrack .Of course that meant going BACK over the bridge of death, which only added 13 years to our time.

Once we made it back to safety, we took a break on the deck and I gave Oscar some lunch. He was fussing the whole way back from the walk clearly as over it as I was. After Oscar finished eating and Krust refused to drink from any of the 17 bowls of water the park kindly offered, we walked over to a low spot on the shore and I let Krusty just lay in the water. He was in heaven.

By this point, Oscar was in good spirits too and we all enjoyed a peaceful 4 minutes by the water. That is until some little girl wouldn't stop circling us. I have little patience for this sort of thing under normal circumstances, much less when my hopes and dreams of adorable exercise have just crumbled before my eyes, so we left.

All told I think that despite my frustration, Krusty and Oscar had a pretty awesome time and I am glad for that. However, next time I'll just wear flip flops and call it what it is - taking the kids to the park.

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John 3:16

Sunday was one of the first times I have ever heard a pastor preach on John 3:16 this side of children's church. Tyler spoke on it here and I think it is definitely worth a listen. The very thought of giving all I have to God is sincerely impossible to me. I talk about it and I think about it, but if faced with the request. I don't know that I could really do it. I've had a pretty hard time connecting spiritually since Oscar was born. In part, I think I am totally distracted, but I also wonder if my spirituality is taking on a different form and I just don't recognize it yet. The idea of giving "your only begotten son" is beyond my ability to comprehend. Which makes God's sacrifice that much more real to me.

I consider myself a follower of Jesus, but even in saying that I feel totally hypocritical. I want to show my son that I believe with my heart, not just my words, but I fail every day. I was speaking about this with my friend Paige from PocketSmiles about how I feel contentment for the first time in my life. However, this contentment is tinged with guilt because I feel like I have everything I could need or want. So why wouldn't I feel peace? Surely it isn't because I finally learned how to trust in God. It seems that right now, I don't HAVE to. Of course I give thanks to Him for blessing us and I know it's not by our actions that we have so much. But put that into the context of 24 hour day full of laundry, diapers and spit-up and I am definitely not thinking about my Lord and Savior.

How can I be a Godly mother in heart and action? If I praise God with my mouth but not with my actions, am I doing more harm than good in the example I set? Honestly, it's exhausting to think about. There have been plenty of times in my life when I had nothing BUT God and in those times I felt closer to Him than ever. It's such a paradox.

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Yay Fall!

I am SO looking forward to cooler weather! Saturday was in the 60s and it was great. Oscar, Krusty and I took a walk and I took the opportunity to put Oscar in his Tampa Bay Bucs jogging suit. Ahh! So adorable (thanks Aunt Amy!)

This week we are hoping to enjoy the outdoors and have the windows open. I made a new jogging playlist, so getting that on the ipod is first on the agenda for today. In other news, Oscar's first tooth FINALLY broke through the skin!!! YAY! It really was in there after all :-)

Looking forward to a great week!

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Inspiration

Yesterday didn't turn out quite as expected, but it wasn't all bad either. Jerry ended up working all day and is currently at work. This was about 3 times as many hours than we were expecting but we are rolling with it. What it did was free me up to catch some of the Type-A-Mom Conference sessions on MomTV. I had really wanted to go to this weekend's conference, but I found out too late to make it happen. Plus with Jerry's work schedule it really wasn't feasible. SO, I was really excited to see that some of it was being broadcast thanks to Danielle at Extraordinary Mommy. I also got caught up on the whole weekend reading posts at Cutest Kid Ever.

I realized that I have been really slack in the networking department and I am trying to pick up the pace. I love blogging and it really is a part of who I am. Why wouldn't I want to connect with hundreds of other women just like me? It's daunting and exhilarating to think about the fact that these words are indeed on the WORLD wide web. But they are and it's so much fun. I'm just really thankful that I stumbled on so many great resources!

And speaking of inspiration, I've been thinking alot about my book and how the best way to be a good writer is to read a lot (source wasn't me but I can't remember who said it). So, I went to the library today and grabbed a few biographies. Currently reading one about Mother Teresa's faith struggle. It's short but already so powerful! It's called I Loved Jesus In the Night.

So, I am feeling really encouraged about the direction I am going with my writing. It feels really great to have any direction honestly! I am SO thankful for that. Who knows where the next page will lead?

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8 Month Update!

Now, this is a story all about how my life got flip-turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell how I became a mom with tired eyes and bad hair. Doooo...do-do-do-do....

Heyyyy friends. Guess what? I'm crazy! Having an 8 month old will do that to a girl. But I love it! Oscar is 3/4 year old TODAY. What? I'm serious, I hardly ever know what day it is. Unless it's the 26th because I know another month has passed. I plan on doing the monthly updates at least until a year. I'm not sure what it will be after that but I know that I will love going back and watching Oscar's growth in this way. It's amazing just HOW much you forget! Honestly, I have already forgotten a lot and rely on the archives of this blog to get my facts straight. But THIS post is not about me.

Happy EIGHTH month-day Oscar!

What does it mean to be 8 months old? Well, it means that you are crawling (more like scooting) and getting faster every single day. Sometimes you lift up onto all fours for fun but you get around just fine on your belly. Sometimes you even sleep on your stomach. The first time I found you on your tummy you looked SO comfortable and peaceful, I had to check if you were breathing! Now, I know better and I will let you sleep however you want.

And speaking of sleep, you are a terrific sleeper! Thank you for that! Most nights you sleep around 11-12 hours and you take 2 naps each day, usually 1-2 hours each. You love going to bed! When we take you in the nursery to change your diaper and turn down the lights, you smile and kick your legs and bring your hands to your mouth over and over. This is your way of telling us that you want your pacifier and your blanket! You are very smart. We still sing twinkle twinkle little star and sometimes you "sing" along. I love it when you do that! Then we pray and lay you in the crib. You take your blanket and pull it up to your face and roll over onto your side. It only takes you a few minutes to fall asleep and when you wake up, you play quietly for a few minutes before I come get you and sing the Good Morning song. Sometimes I just sit and listen to the monitor while you talk to yourself and play. It's one of my favorite things to do!

Some nights, sleep is harder for you than others. This is usually due to teething. I can finally see white lines under your gums and they are very hard and raised. You don't let me look in your mouth very much but I can tell that you are uncomfortable because you often grab my hand and start chewing on my fingers. Those teeth HAVE to come out. We just need to be patient. In the meantime, I will do what I can to help you feel better. We try to keep busy during your awake time and this has been a nice distraction for both of us.

You are very agreeable in the mornings so that is when we do most of our outings. You love to go to museums, church, out for coffee (mommy loves that too) and for long walks. You still aren't a fan of loud noises and sometimes you get scared, but we are trying to help you feel safe during those times even though it feels scary. Don't worry, you will grow out of that.

Your favorite thing to do right now is crawl crawl crawl! It has been a lot of fun to watch you explore, but it's teaching me that I need to be very alert and attentive to you! You are already discovering new (and potentially dangerous) things and you really keep me on my toes! You love trying to play with cabinets, cords, strings, cell phones, dog toys and keys. You do like your toys but not nearly as much as all those other things. I guess you are becoming a BOY! Maybe with all this chasing, mommy will finally lose that weight ;-)

You are growing too! I put you on the scale at home and it looks like you are about 21.5lbs. I don't know how tall you are but you are growing out of your 9month clothes and wear some 12 month sizes. You are also wearing size 18 month shoes! You are getting stronger every day and you have a BIG appetite! You have tried a lot of new foods this month. You still eat oatmeal for breakfast with 1/2 a banana. You nurse during the day and have bottles in the evening. You like rice, mac'n'cheese, cheerios, cheese, muffins and now yogurt! You just had yogurt for the first time yesterday and you loved it! I love watching you try new things. We even let you try our chicken tacos and that was a big hit. I'm really glad that you are an adventurous eater because I have a lot that I want to share with you!

Oscar, we are so happy to be your parents and we love watching you grow. It's amazing that you have only been in our lives for 8 months and have changed us so much! It won't be long before we stop counting months and start counting years. But for now, you are still our baby boy and we love you!

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Brain Dump

So this week has been odd for me. I can't say that it has been a bad week necessarily. It's just been one of those weeks where I didn't really feel like myself. Jerry has had to work a lot and had several music practices after having been gone over the weekend. In fact, he is currently at work again and has been since 4:3oam working on internet stuff that has to happen when the rest of us are sleeping. The moments we HAVE had together have been really nice, but everything just feels off in the meantime.

Last weekend I made some really great progress on the book and then my inspiration went right out the window. I think the schedule changes have a lot to do with that. Also, I am not in a hurry to write so I am just going with the flow and jotting things down here and there as they come. I imagine that one day I will set some kind of time line for myself because I do work better with goals. But today is not that day. I am also still in the infant stages of just what this book will be about. I have a lot that I want to and COULD write about, but I want it to be relevant and interesting and not just a laundry list of my life. I've never done anything like this before, other than blogging so it's a really interesting process. And from the research I have done about writing (non-fiction in particular), there really isn't a correct way to go about it. It's all very organic, which is part of the appeal for me at least. I am trying not to allow myself to think even one or two steps ahead for now. And if you know me, it will be very difficult! But I am trying to think of it like knitting. When I start a knitting project, I NEVER understand the directions. I read through them once to see what I need for supplies and then I take it one line at a time. It doesn't matter that line 7 makes no sense. It will by the time I am done with line 6 and so on. I think this book will take shape in the same way.

Another reason I am really excited about the book is that I am really able to think. There is NOTHING I would rather do than love and care for Oscar, but since I am not working outside the home, I must have something to sink my intellect into. I don't want to just stagnate and quote the same facts over and over. I have always been a sponge and I don't see that ever stopping. Learning new things keeps me going. I get excited and rejuvenated with a new skill. The downside of this is that I am tempted to jump from thing to thing without really getting proficient. A jack of all trades but a master of none....I can see that as good or bad depending on the day. With the book, my hope is that I will be writing about enough different things to keep my interest, all the while tying it together to keep yours. We'll see.

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Raleigh, We can Do Better.

OK internet, help me out. A few weeks ago I met some friends for coffee in Durham. These friends are also of the pregnant/having kids under two variety so we worked around nap times and found a few moments to connect. We met at Bean Traders by Southpoint mall because they have an AWESOME kids area. And by awesome I do NOT mean a coffee table in the middle of the room with 12 old books and 3 legos (ahem). I am talking about no less than 1/3 of the room was partitioned off for children. There are foam mats on the floor and toys and a colorful mural. Bean Traders I am either sorry, or you're welcome for the influx of mommies to your store.

The problem for me is that said coffee shop is 20 miles from my house and not really convenient. So I have made it my quest to find a similar space in Raleigh, to no avail. I've asked around, looked online and trekked to a few places and the best I could come up with was Third Place. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some Third Place and they try to be accommodating, but for a mama of a wee babe who needs to get out of the house once in a while, it's seriously lacking. Especially, now that I have seen the promised land that is BT.

Coffee shops aren't just for students and the lucky working class with the world as their office. Moms have needs too, and that means caffeine and lots of it.

I HOPE that by this post, the local moms will pop up out of nowhere (how bout it 30 Threads?) and tell me what I have been missing. That there IS such a place in Raleigh AND they don't charge admission or have golden arches. Help me Raleigh Moms, you're my only hope.....

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The real world

As much as I would like to say I am a cute little mommy with little cute playdates and a clean house and sweet little outfits, that is all part of the game. I may be able to pull one of those things together for about an hour or two, but in the real world, I am one hot mess.

I have managed to leave the land of elastic waistbands and rejoin the world of buttons and zippers, but that's about the best I can do. I still vacation there from time to time. So if you take today for example, we got up and started the day with a walk. That meant I threw on "whatever I could find" because I still needed to shower and I didn't want to put on clean clothes. So that meant a tank, the tshirt I slept in and yesterday's shorts. Well, It's 10:49 and I am still wearing it. I AM about to go take a shower but I thought I would document my "mommy style" for you in the meantime. Some days I never get that shower....

THIS is a normal day, in my normal house. And if I am honest, it can get much worse than this :-)

***Click the picture to get the full effect!

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A Cure for the Common Curmudgeon

Today it rains. Normally I love the rain but today it's just dumping on my already iffy mood. Thankfully, I have a sweet sweet boy to cuddle up with. And we are having lunch with daddy so that makes it even better. The sun will shine again, so for now I will remember how Oscar and I went into the back yard to play with the leaves yesterday. He's an experienced sitter you know. Oh how I love him.

Baby So Fine from Andrea Updyke on Vimeo.

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A sad day is approaching....

9 times out of 10, Oscar goes to sleep great in his crib. But on that 10th time, when the crib will not do and mama will not do, and he isn't hungry and he isn't dirty, there is only one answer. And that answer is what we call, "the magic swing".

Oscar spent the first 2 months of his life in this swing due to reflux and in those dark moments, it is our go to soother. NOTHING works like the swing. Yesterday, due to our shifting of schedules, was a swing day. And when I came in to get him after his nap, I found this long boy all stretched out under his blanket. Ahhh swing, you have served us well and we will surely miss you!

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Just You and Me Kid....

Well, Oscar and I survived our first weekend without daddy! Jerry went to a wedding on the coast for some friends of ours and despite our best efforts, it turned out that Oscar and I would be staying home. I'll tell you one thing, Friday morning I was staring down the barrel of a LONG 3 days! Now having just hung up the phone with Jerry, who is on his way home, I don't know where the time went!

We basically did our normal thing, but left the house about 3 times as much and tried to keep busy. Oscar usually turns into a pumpkin for the last couple hours he is awake in the evening. That is usually easily combated with daddy's timely arrival home from work to swoop in and play. So we had to get creative. We took an extra walk on Friday and went grocery shopping. Yesterday we made another trip to the grocery store (triple coupons) and then had dinner with our friends Kim and Reid (and Jacob!). We had a good time and despite the ungodly amounts of spit-up Oscar left behind, I think they did too.

The nights have been a bit rough for us due to teething. Oscar woke several times in the early part of the night and had a hard time going back to sleep. The bumps on his lower gums are much more pronounced and even sharp feeling. They have either broken through or there is just a small layer of skin left to go. Either way, I hope they get here soon!

This morning we decided to try going to the 8:30am service at Vintage21. I really loved the summer schedule of 9 and 11am because 11 fell exactly between Oscar's 2 naps and there were plenty of other babies to play with. His belly would be full and he was well rested. Now we are really struggling to find the right service. The new times are 8:30, 10, and 11:30. The 11:30 is still the best fit for Oscar, but the problem is that there are usually NO other babies his age there at that time. I guess they all have different nap times or something. At any rate, usually this means he has to go in the toddler room which at this point is too overwhelming for him and I usually get called back to get him. SO, we went at 8:30. There were a couple other babies there so that was good. However one ended up going to her mom and when Oscar's nap time rolled around he got cranky so I went in for a few minutes to help get him resettled. He did great for the rest of the service but ended up falling asleep for the last 5 minutes. Once we got home he was WIDE open and ready to play and didn't actually go down for a nap until about 10:45.

So, it's not like it was horrible, but also not what I would call a success. Sometimes he is fine missing a nap, like when we went to the museum or even last week when I sang in the band at the Durham service. But as I was thinking about it, I was there with him so I think that made a huge difference. Being overtired AND with anyone but mom might just be too much. So it's back to the drawing board. In other news, one thing that is super awesome is that our church is sponsoring a FREE date night in October! We will just drop Oscar off from 6-9pm and have a night on the town! That is going into the calendar right now...Yay!

In about 4 hours our little family will be reunited and hopefully enjoying the rest of our Sunday together before the start of another week. I am so thankful to be where I am right now. It's strange how sometimes it takes us being apart to remember how blessed we are. I don't want to take it for granted. The sermon this morning was really good. I think I will save my reflections for another post, but today I thank God for loving me and my family.

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The Very Hungry (and crazy?) Caterpillar

Today I started writing my book.

Wow. I just said that. That right there? That just happened.

I have debated about announcing the fact that I am writing a book because I really don't want it to be one of those things I start and don't finish. But if there is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it's that no matter what stage of life I am in, or what job I have, my writing is the one constant among them. So I am saying it. I am writing a book!

I love this blog and it will go on. The book will dig deeper and offer a more personal look at my life and journey. I hope it will be an encouraging and fun read for many. I have so much in my head and heart that I want to put on paper. The very thought is exhilarating to me! But it will be a LONG time coming and a LOT of work. In many ways I feel like a caterpillar, eating my way through the different seasons of my life. And now it's time get in my cocoon so that the butterfly can emerge.

Please pray for me as I take on this extraordinary task! I am certain I will need it!

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Mmmm....Triples

Harris Teeter Triples were good to me this time around! Here is what I got:

1 Jar Mt. Olive Pickles
1 Box Betty Crocker Fruit Snacks
2 Boxes Betty Crocker Brownies
1 Tub BC Frosting
1 Newman's Own Organic Salad Dressing
1 Jar Newman's Own Alfredo Sauce
1 Jar Barilla Spaghetti Sauce
12 jars Earth's Best Baby Food
1 Bunch Bananas
1 Head Romaine Lettuce
1 Bag Sargento Salad Finishers
2 packets Ortega Taco/Fajita Seasoning
2 cans Cambell's Select Soup
2 Pks White House Applesauce individual tubs (6 per pack)
1 Yokisaba Noodle meal
1 Box Uncle Ben's Long Grain Rice
2 Boxes Barilla Pasta
4 Totinos Frozen Pizza
1 Carton Welch's Juice Blend
1 Individual Chocolate Milk
1 Pillsbury Pizza Crust
2 boxes frozen Green Giant vegetables
1 Scott Wipes
1 TopCare Contact Solution
1 20oz Coke Zero

Total: $80.26
Total Spent: 35.72
Savings of 55%

Trip #2 :

2 Boxes Nature Valley Granola Bars
2 Boxes Quaker Granola Bars
1 Wanchai Ferry Dinner kit
1 BC Cookie Mix
1 BC Cake Mix
1 Mahatma white Rice
2 Mahatma Yellow Rice
8 Earths Best Baby Food
1 Scrubbing Bubbles Bathroom Cleaner
1 Viva Paper Towels
1 Value Time Sugar
1 Nissin Noodle meal
1 Bag Famous Amos Cookies
1 Suave Body wash
1 Colgate toothbrush
1 Eggo Waffles
1 pkg Wholly Guacamole
1 bottle Lemon juice
1 Bird's Eye frozen potatoes
1 Bird's Eye frozen stir-fry veggie mix

Total: $65.40
Total Spent: 29.83
Total Saved: 53%

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A Lesson in Celebrity: Be Cool.

Have you ever been star struck? I don't know what it is about famous people but they really are like magnets. I used to love getting autographs at concerts or getting my book signed. I was even an extra in the Freddie Prinze Jr. classic, Summer Catch.

I'll just let that sink in for a moment.

You might think that because I walked arm in arm with Mark Blucas (they were filming our feet) or got a "way to go, extras" pep talk from Brian Dennehy that I think I'm people. Well folks, that would be just plain silly. I didn't even have any lines. And even though I got free food and a lovely farmer's tan, I wouldn't exactly say I'd made it.

Getting a personal email, however, is a completely different story.

If you follow me on twitter, you might have seen this post:

This was immediately after seeing the movie trailer for The Men Who Stare at Goats, a movie based on one of my favorite books by Author, Jon Ronson. I got so excited about the movie because this was a really great book. I am always trying to get my friends to read it (and THEM, also by Jon Ronson). So, when I got home I decided to look up Ronson's website and send him a quick congrats email. You know, because it's not every day that your book is made into a movie. Even for a successful author. And not 2 minutes after I hit send I have this response in my inbox:

Yay! That's so nice of you. Like being sprinkled with niceness. I'm on my way to embarrass myself on Colbert. Pray for me. I'm also writing a new book called The Psychopath Test.
Jon

Did you hear that? It was the sound of me dying. Or more aptly, my body dropping to the floor starting with my jaw. In this day and age one just doesn't expect a reply. You send out an encouraging word just hoping that it gets to a real person! Not only did he write me back, but I am now only ONE degree of separation away from STEPHEN COLBERT. Bravo indeed. Super SUPER cool Jon Ronson.

Take that as a lesson all you would be rock stars, it's easy and awesome to hit reply. So do it, and make someone's day! And while you are waiting to get famous, check out The Men Who Stare At Goats!

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Never NOT Learning...

I've come to realize that there is no auto-pilot in mothering. Sure some things become routine but there is ALWAYS a catch. Babies change constantly (big surprise there) and it's hard to keep up. This week, Oscar and I took our first overnight trip together. Jerry had to stay back and work so I knew this would be an exercise in patience for me because there were a myriad of things that could have gone wrong. Thankfully, Oscar makes for an awesome traveling buddy! Well, mostly ;-)

On Sunday, we decided on the fly to play in the Vintage21 Durham service worship band. They were short on musicians and I have been wanting to sing again for a while now. I knew Durham would be my only shot as they have just one service, as opposed to Raleigh's four. So, we were all packed and ready to go by 8:30am on Sunday. Oscar slept for a bit on the way to Durham and did AMAZING during practice and church. I wore him in the Beco before it started and then he played in the nursery during the meeting. It was a really good stretch for me to sing again. I know I was rusty, but the intimate setting and close friends made up for any nervousness I felt. And of course, worship is such a wonderful thing. Once I start singing all those worries seem to melt away. After church was over, we hopped in the car for the final 2.5 hours of our trip.

I was hopeful that Oscar would sleep the whole way there since he didn't really have a morning nap, but unsure of how he would handle being in the car for that long. Again, all my worries were for naught! He slept all but the last 20 minutes of the trip, during which he blew bubbles and made some pretty hilarious throat noises. At that point, it was hard to make myself concentrate on driving and not just watch him in the mirror! We got to Amy's and he settled right into his normal routine, plus a few thousand more hugs, kisses and giggles from his aunt and cousins.

Both DAYS we were there, everything couldn't have been more perfect. However, the nights were hard. REALLY. HARD. My patience was definitely tested and I know Oscar wasn't doing much better. He isn't a huge fan of the pack'n'play but has always napped fine in it. But I think that sleeping all night was just too much. I mean really, could they make those things any more uncomfortable? The problem was, he would go to sleep fine, but then wake up after just 2 or 3 hours of sleep. At which point it was late and Amy's kids had gone to bed. SO, my job was to try and get Oscar back to sleep as quietly as possible. However, he was WIDE awake and ready to play and there was NOTHING I could do to get him sleepy. The second night was especially hard. He went to bed at 7pm and woke at 9pm and wouldn't go back to sleep until after midnight. I tried everything, fed him, checked his diaper, changed into cooler pajamas. I finally gave up and brought him out to the living room. I made my sister promise not to smile at him. No rewards! This is not party time. And then he peed on me.

HE PEED ON ME!

Apparantly, when I checked his diaper I put it back on wrong so there was a breech. I was soaked, he was soaked and we were back in the room to put his 3rd set of pjs on. I think I fed him again and he FINALLY went to sleep. I wasn't far behind at that point. THEN he woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. period. I tried EVERYTHING. He nursed, we rocked, I layed him next to me, we walked around, I put him in the pack'n'play and layed next to it, I sang, I shushed. NOTHING. He was awake! This kind of thing is SO frustrating for me. I was so angry. I had NOTHING.

At home I can usually just pick him up for a couple minutes with his blanket and he will just snuggle in for a hug or 5 and then go back to sleep. This time, when I picked him up he would squirm and arch his back and stretch and then start playing with my necklace. Cute at 4pm. INFURIATING at 4am. Finally at 6:30am, I turned on the light and put him in the pack'n'play with some toys so I could at least lay on the bed and sleep without fear of him rolling off. He was just as happy as could be and I think I got about 30 minutes which surprisingly helped a lot. It took me a while after we got up to forgive him for so ruthlessly and adorably robbing us both of our sleep, and I considered leaving him right there in Charlotte with Amy ;-). But I knew Jerry missed him so I sucked it up. The happy ending here was that he was so exhausted by the time we left that he slept the whole way home! All's well that ends well I suppose!

I am glad we took the trip though because with the Holidays coming up, we will have many nights away from home and it was good practice for both of us. I need to find a way to make that travel crib more comfortable though or we are in for a world of hurt. I'd be fine with co-sleeping if that worked, but it never has and I don't see that changing so it's time to get creative. I have until Thanksgiving to figure it out. Any suggestions?

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Oh right.

Oscar and I have been playing hookie in Charlotte for the past few days with my sister and her kids. It was really good to see them all and give Oscar a chance to hang with his cousins. I always like to get out of town and clear my head. And since Oscar slept in the car the whole time both ways, I had lots of clearing-my-head time, not to be confused with listening to bad 90s music time. The drive was nice and it was great to hang with family as always. Tomorrow we will hit the ground running when I have a more normalized sleep:coffee ratio. Until then!

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This Weather Makes me Giddy!

I absolutely love fall! And it's coming. This week, it was here! Nothing puts me in a great mood faster than cool weather with a great breeze on my face. I was born and raised in a Florida beach town so I am no stranger to breeze, but cool weather is almost unheard of. This is why I love North Carolina. It has everything you might be in the mood for on almost any given day within a few hours drive.

This week has been a relatively dry 70 degrees on average which is amazing. Oscar and I have been trying to spend lots of time with windows open or outdoors walking or doing something fun.

Yesterday we went to a nearby park to check out the play equipment and sand and of course, swings. Oscar is an old pro at swinging these days. He loves it! Just kicks and kicks. It's too cute. This was his first official introduction to sand, however and I think it was a big hit. He definitely ate some, but all in good fun right? I let him sit at the bottom of the slide and he got so excited kicking his feet that he got a static charge and his little hair stood on end. You can sort of see it in this picture. This is the good life.

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Take a minute...

***photo by By Chris McGrath, Getty Images via USAToday

Today is the 8th Anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on our country. You are no doubt reading articles and watching coverage about this horrific event and maybe even a little sick of hearing about it, AGAIN. As I sat down with my coffee this morning, trying to decide in which direction I would go with my blog, I took a minute and read this story on MomLogic. I knew I would not be writing about myself today. At least not in the typical light-hearted fashion I am accustomed to.

Do you remember that day? I do. I was at work hitting refresh on MSNBC.COM over and over and over trying to stay up-to-date. My co-worker, Dara was in her office talking to her daughter on the phone and yelling out the play-by-play as it happened. Thankfully, I didn't know anyone who was directly affected by the tragedy, but honestly, we were all affected. I remembered my time spent in Israel years earlier, when friends of ours had family killed in a bus explosion near Galilee. I knew that other parts of the world were dealing with death on a scale unheard of to us happy, safe Americans. I knew that we had a lot of growing up to do. And I was scared.

Say what you will about the politics of the 8 years that followed these attacks, but know that as it happened, everything changed. Every One changed. Today, please don't focus on politics. Please don't tire of remembrance. Please do take a moment to pray for the families whose hearts ache not only on this, but every day of the year for their lost loved ones. And if you wish, please continue to help them through one of the charities listed here. It's an honor and a privilege to live in a country where we are free, safe and healthy. Let's not take it for granted.

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Introducing: Saint Rooster!

I want to give a special shout out to Saint Rooster! Elizabeth Martin is the mastermind behind this sweet little refurbishing business and her work is amazing! Whether you are decorating a nursery or wanting to add some whimsy to your home, there is a piece for you! And just so you know, I am not getting anything free or money to write this post. I just want to help a girl out!

Just looking at the pictures of her work will make you happy. I promise! Elizabeth has a great eye for diamonds in the rough and her Fable series is just. too. adorable. I could spend a LOT of money redecorating my house with this furniture!

Check out Elizabeth's blog and be sure to click through to the Etsy shop.

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Touchy Touchy Misher.

Babies, finicky little creatures that they are, definitely resist change. My thing is, their ENTIRE lives are change! How do they even know to resist?? But they do. Ahhh yes. They do. I give you, the paci. Oscar goes to sleep with a pacifier. It works like a charm 9 out of 10 times and we love it. He doesn't really have it other than bedtime unless we are out and I know we will be going past when he would normally be asleep. Ok, so all of that was for context.

Lately, Oscar has gotten really good at putting the paci in his own mouth and part of his wind down routine is to hold it in his hands, put it in his mouth backwards, take it out. Rinse, repeat. Well, I noticed that he is now able to put the entire paci in his mouth and for naps that just made me too nervous (1st time mommy ok? The next kid will be sucking on old chicken bones). I got him a larger pacifier and took away the old ones last night and darned if he didn't wake up like 4 times! He wasn't hungry. And I changed his diaper thinking maybe it was dirty, but he was fine. I would LOVE to blame teething, as you well know, but I am convinced that I will have the world's first toothless child. The only thing I can come up with is NEW PACI. Really? Yes. Oscar doesn't have very many habits yet, but the paci/blanket combo is not one to be trifled with. Last week I got a new blanket that is the same fuzzy fleece as the old one so we could wash one/use one and it went well. Foolishly, I thought the same thing about the pacifier. The good news is, he went down for his nap with minimal fuss with the new paci. I am hoping that by bedtime, those tiny baby pacis will be a distant memory.

Yesterday, I texted my husband a picture of Oscar's magnificent poopy diaper. I did. We laughed that this is what our life has become. Poop and pacis people! And I wouldn't have it any other way.

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Weekend Update

Well we had a wonderfully lazy Labor Day and I hope you did too! Oscar and I were a little bit under the weather so we took it easy. I am not sure if it is a cold, or allergies or in Oscar's case, teething (i hope). But whatever it is, it hasn't hit us too hard. Just enough for some coughing and sneezing and a few tissues here and there.

It was great to have Jerry here the past 3 days. I love our little family. We are just so blessed. We took lots of walks and played and talked. The past two nights have been spent playing cards, one of our favorite pass-times. Oscar is a delight and we had a great time taking him to the park, the mall, around the neighborhood etc. It was a really fun and needed time of rest. Saturday we had to get out of the house so we went for some ice cream and headed over to Fletcher Park. Watching Jerry and Oscar play is probably my favorite thing to do. I just love my boys!

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Like it or not, I have an early riser.

This morning we started the day at 6:27am. I tend to bristle at the thought of getting out of bed before 7am, but more often than not, that's how it happens. Oscar gets up with the sun, or before the sun or basically 10.5-11.5 hours after he goes to bed the night before. Hey, I am not complaining! I am SO thankful for the sleep. This just means I need to embrace my new farmer's hours. We have tried to keep him up later, but that usually backfires with a fussy baby who still wakes up with the sun. SO, last night we fed him dinner, played quietly in the nursery, gave a bath, got pjs on and read books to TRY and stretch him to a later bedtime. And then it was 7pm. I knew I was in for it. Thankfully, he gave me til 6:27 before beckoning me to his side. I think I could get used to getting up in the dark. I mean I did it for countless mornings when I worked outside the home. It's just the cycle of it all. Now, Oscar has gone down for a nap at 8am instead of 9 and the rest of the day follows suit. I am a creature of habit and routine so it's hard for me to adjust to the dynamic of mommyhood. It's a good stretch, but something that takes getting used to for sure.

This weekend has been really great. Jerry is off for the holiday today and we had nothing planned. I have been fighting a cold (or maybe allergies) so with Jerry here it has given me a chance to take a nap here, hot shower there. VERY helpful! We've been laying low. Last night we had pb&j for dinner and played cards. Then we went to bed at 9:30pm. I knew I would be up early so I planned ahead. HA! Take THAT, sun! Today we'll just take it easy and clean up a bit from the weekend sprawl.

Happy Labor Day!

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Happy Saturday and....

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I love the Internet!

Let me first say that I love blogging. I would blog if no one read (and did for many months/years) and the fact that people do read is just gravy. Even better is when I get to meet someone out of the blue as was the case with Ms. Emily Barefoot.

Emily runs Emily Alane Photography in Raleigh. I was so excited when I received an email from her asking if I would like to have some pictures done of Oscar. I haven't had ANY professional pictures of him yet and the timing could not have been better.

Emily has been reading my blog for some time and as it turns out, we live in the same neighborhood! So when she offered to take some pictures of Oscar for free, I very happily accepted! She is trying to grow her business and I am trying to grow my blog. It's a win win! A couple weeks ago we met in a big field, put Oscar in the grass and she got clicking. We had a delightful conversation and Oscar loved sitting up, touching the grass and trying to eat it.

Today I received the much anticipated email saying that the pictures are ready. I love them! She did a great job and we had a great time making a new friend. If you need to have portraits done, be sure to check out her site.

Thanks again Emily!

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Hello Scab.

Ever think you are over something and then one day there it is bleeding in your face? Yeah, me too. The other night, Oscar went to bed and Jerry and I decided to watch a movie. We've had Juno on deck for a couple weeks now from Netflix and just haven't gotten around to watching it. It was one of those movies that slipped through the cracks when it initially came out and we had been wanting to watch it for a while.

I was SO resonating with Jennifer Garner's character, Vanessa. Not the infertility part, thank God, but her desire to have a baby was so intense. And how she planned everything to the last detail. Aside from a few other plot details, that was SO me during pregnancy.

Then came the birth scene. Jerry and I always laugh during theatrical birth moments on TV and movies because they are so glaringly unrealistic. But this time, I thought they had it just right. And I. was. sobbing. Out of no where I was once again heartbroken about the fact that I was not able to deliver Oscar the old fashioned way. Saddened by the loss of our "moment" and not getting to hold him right away. It really took me (and Jerry) by surprise.

It's one of those things that you just can't explain. Why certain things happen to certain people. I was prepared for natural labor (as much as any woman can be). I wanted those moments. I tried for 25 hours before it was just too much. Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. Wondering if I had used a midwife or had a home birth it would have been different. Sometimes I wonder that too, but I remain convinced that I did everything I could to avoid it. And I secretly want to become a defender of women who had a c-section. I found out when I was pregnant that my father was born via c-section in the 1940s. Talk about scary! For most of us, it is NEVER the first choice. And even though all is well and I am thankful for a happy and healthy baby, I am learning that it will always be a sad moment in an otherwise blissful time.

I hope to try for a VBAC with the next baby provided I can find a Dr. and hospital that is willing to do it. And I know that if I have another c-section, I will love the baby just as much as I would if I had birthed naturally. It's interesting how things affect you when babies are involved. It's like my body is saying, surprise! Here's the secret emotion box that has been closed until now. And once it's open, it can never be closed.

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What Dreams are Made of....

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Why Didn't I think of That?

You can file this right into the DUH folder. I feel so silly that I haven't ever thought of this that I had to out my stupidity to the world. Perhaps a stray reader here and there will share in my shame :-) It's kind of like the time I found out there are tabs in the tin foil box to keep the roll from FLYING out every time you want a sheet. You know, RIGHT there on every single box, for my entire life!

Many of us are trying to save money here and there. One way Jerry and I do this is to buy chicken breasts in bulk. I usually get boneless/skinless but this week there was a great deal on bone-in chicken breasts (88cents/lb) so I got some! In the past I have just cooked them with the bones but I just don't like doing it that way. When I came across this post on $5 dinners today, the light bulb came on! And it wasn't even about de-boning the chicken. It was about pre-marinating! Yes!

So, I cut all the bones out of the chicken and separated the breasts into freezer bags.....wait for it.......WITH the marinade and put them in the freezer! Now all I have to do is thaw and cook! No more waiting for meat to thaw, then waiting to marinate (or skipping that entirely). Seriously, why has this never occurred to me before???

I also followed her advice to make my own chicken broth by slow-cooking the bones with some vinegar, garlic and Italian spices! I feel like a regular Betty Crocker over here ya'll!

**Update - I got 7.5 cups of broth! Woohoo!

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7 months Old!

My baby! My wee little 20 lb baby is 7 months old! Actually, I am seriously late. He is 7 months and a week old now! I feel like we are entering the golden age of babies. This is the time when all the mommies and daddies work their friends over telling them how awesome having kids is and how rewarding and fun it is EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY. This is the age where new moms look at you and are certain that they gave birth to an alien who will never. stop. crying. and why are all the moms better than me? The age that you are sure will never come for your baby because you are doing everything wrong. Have I mentioned that I LOVE 7 months???

Oscar started sleeping through the night consistently a couple weeks ago with some help from daddy and me. Once I determined that his night waking wasn't due to hunger, but habit and he was just as frustrated as I was to be awake, we turned a corner. Now, MOST nights he goes to bed at 7 or 8pm and wakes up somewhere around 7am. It's pure bliss. He is eating better, napping better, happy for longer periods of time and more agreeable when we go out. Score 1 for sleep! (or 10 or eleventy billion!)

He continues to roll everywhere he wants to go and is starting to push his butt off the floor. He doesn't lift up with his arms but I don't think it will be long. Still no teeth those stingy little buggers, but all in good time. Oscar LOVES to eat, just like his mama. His pincer grasp is awesome and he has about a 90% success rate of puff to mouth coordination. He can also eat real banana pieces and has tried pickles, mac and cheese, avocado and yogurt bites. He's not a fan of the avocado yet, but we'll work on it. It's so funny when he doesn't want something. He just looks straight down until you take it away. He LOVES cereal. We have stopped doing rice cereal and moved on to Oatmeal. Loves it! We only do cereal in the morning but he totally knows the word. After he nurses I ask him if he wants some cereal and he gets the biggest smile on his face and limbs go flying. It's adorable.

He uses two different kinds of sippy cups for water. We have the regular Nuby cups and one that has a straw. He does both like a champ. The ones you have to tip up, I give him in the stroller or some other semi-reclined position because the tipping thing is kinda hard for him still. The straw cup is perfect for the high chair so we mainly use it there. I really love watching him drink from a cup. It's sweet and sad all at the same time. I half expect him to look up at me and start discussing his college choices.

I am really loving our schedule right now. We seem to have found a real rhythm. Breastfeeding is going well, naps are going well, there are minimal amounts of crying and we haven't really gotten into behavioral issues too much so it's mostly just play time. Oscar gets up around 7am, naps at 9am and 1pm and nurses 4-5 times throughout the day plus solids. Then he gets a bottle of formula with dinner and one before bed. Jerry and I job share in the evening which gives Oscar time with daddy and mommy gets a bit of a break. Bedtime is between 7-8pm and if we are both home that night, we get several hours together. Seriously, what could be better?

If I have learned anything in the past 7 months, it's that babies ebb and flow. I know that different developmental stages and ages will come and go with new challenges, but for now I am reveling in this "break" from really tough parenting. I think it's awesome that God built in this little break for us. Not to say it's easy, but it's DEFINITELY easier than it was 2 or 3 months ago. I can't even explain the difference. This is what they meant by 'it will get better'. Who knew? Maybe moms aren't liars afterall.

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